A Tale of Funakoshi!

Discussion in 'E-Zine Articles' started by Bob Hubbard, Jan 14, 2010.

  1. Bob Hubbard

    Bob Hubbard Darth Vindicatus Supporting Member

    A Tale of Funakoshi!
    By matrixman - 01-09-2010 03:15 PM


    A Tale of Funakoshi!

    During the reconstruction of Japan, Gichin Funakoshi, no spring chicken at the time, was walking down a street. The night was gloomy, Japan was in a state of unrest, and he saw a thug lurking on the street corner. And he knew, just knew, that that thug was going to try to mug him.

    Hey, you think a mugger’s going to pick on somebody big? Nah, muggers want to do their work with the least amount of risk, you know? Smart guys, these muggers.

    Gichin kept walking, tried to look feeble, and when the mugger jumped at him he whirled and grabed the mugger. Now, you might be wondering where he grabbed the mugger. A death lock on the carotid--a specialized nerve center that immobilizes totally?

    Well, uh, no. He grabbed him by the, um, chestnuts. The cajones, you know..the apples.

    He grabbed him by his future, his children to be, his only reason for fun on those long, lonely nights that besiege a mugger when he is all alone and can’t find a date. Now the founder of Karate has a mugger by the embarrassment what is his next technique? Does he execute a half fist to the throat and pop the Adam’s apple...or at least shove it down the unworthy’s own throat?

    Does he execute a spearhand to the chest and pluck the mugger’s heart out and take a bite while the horrified mugger watches in horror? Or does he just…squeeze. Slowly, squeeze, and watch the blood drain out of the mugger’s face, and the life out of his body, and the joy out of his future?

    Squeeze…so that the nutty pulp runs out from between his gnarly, old fingers. Squeeze…until a loud popping sound fills the night air. Squeeze, until the mugger screams like a little girl and falls to the pavement, never to enjoy the feel of loving again.

    Gichin called for the cops. Yep, he stood on that corner and held that man and called for help. And the mugger was totted away to think about his crimes, and the terror of having his manhood held by another man.

    An interesting lesson for a mugger, eh? Another interesting lesson would be if you looked up the real meaning of the word testament and where it comes from and all that. Anyway, the point of all this is this…don’t walk down that dark alley.

    Yep. My students have heard me say this, and they know what I mean. When you have a choice of a long walk down a lit street, or a short trip through a dark alley, take the long way.

    You can tell you’ve made it, that you do understand what the martial arts are all about when you can see a dark alley before you reach it. Hey, a sunny street in the heart of town might be a dark alley if there’s some idiot waiting for you. And you should have developed the extra perception, through those endless hours of practice, to know the difference between a dark alley and a well lit street.


    Al Case has practiced martial arts for 4O+ years. He has written hundreds of articles and had his own column in Inside Karate. He has developed the science of Matrixing, which enables an artist to de-corrupt his art and return it to original workability. You can get a free ebook about his method at Monster Martial Arts.


    Articles by Bob Hubbard.

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